MiZbEhAvE nOoW

Alevel results coming

2007-02-09T16:12:00.000+08:00

today olevel results sialal...
ishq...
it seems piyaa's cuzans are taking their results...
all the bestu to them...
good means haapy...
bad means burn the result paper...

anyway...my whole holidays...
i have been working like a mad dog...
tuiton...
babysitting...
ponneh tiring sia...
good thing is that its gonna be over soon...
alevel results coming...
and im gna put a fullstop to that phase of my fucking life..

huijuan... im sorry sia... when u called i was really caught up w
teaching...
was pissed with the kid...
btw happy bday to ya...
and i wun be comin for ya bday celeb on the 10th..
u noe why aite...
dun wanna see and mk ma mood spoilt with aarghhhhh...
sam is unhappy w me abt ma absence to be...
explain to her aite..
tell mickey i lowe her like so much
anyway.........
u will get ta jacket from the pasam malam for ya bday!
dun wuri
lowe ya...

ya as i was sayg alevel results are coming...
didi and i were all discussing abt it... and our future plans...
which looks a little shady...
hopefully it wun be...
most prolly, smu or nus...
or poly or aus...
but not nursing..
aint ma cup of tea...(ma aunt suggested me duin nursing-yucks)
lets see la...
what to do...
btw immediately after getting the results, im running away fr the skool...
gna open it with zully beside me...and didi and piyaa...
bintan catch up with me...soon k at yani's block..

cant really accept it sia... 3yrs plus the first 3mths of MI life over so fast...
this trip has brought many memories and friends and sistazzz...
and all of them so valuable to me... except some of them:Some fucking friends' memories...
but overall, i enjoyed to the max.. with all of them...
haha...
okay guys...duty calls...
gota go...
k later then
(lets see in a abt 5 yrs time where people are settled and with what...
till then.......)

hieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

2007-01-26T01:24:00.000+08:00

Yep, as i was saying, i just settled the net thing.

So today onwards i can enjoy surfing, miaa sisters too plus ma friends. Sorry for not replying to any of the messages and emails.

First of all, i wanna wish that batchaa nuka, haapy bday! enjoy ya this year to the max and also study. stressing alot on that coz, aint want ya to go thru the last minute mugging, the stress all and that. do it now. tomorrow can wait. send ma rgards to mum and sister vokey... tk care miaa batcha...

Baby and carolin, im so sorry that i cudnt reply to any of ya messages. hope you guys understand. carolin about the aus uni thgie, ive asked prakash to send me, but he hasnt. il look into that. dont mind ah babe. come back fast la. baby, hope ya mum is alright with ya job... kol me ah babe...

anywhere guys, take care all of url...

gayu and piyaa cum back fr india la. carolin you frm indo too. cepat la.

didi, thanks la... miss ya so much...

love ya... dun wury too much abt bro-in-law.

he shd be duin fine. you've got me to go thru this period.

all you just got to do is gv me a kol....

and abt the sch loan abt lorshe semester, thanks didi... she is okay now...

thanks..didi...

btw me sleepy..gota slp adi...

didi if ya hv read this, please tag a message vokay.

muaks. hugs to all ma dearest and ma besty zoooollly...

take care guys...

Tomorrow can wait...

2007-01-26T01:08:00.000+08:00

Guys, for the past few days i was unable to blog. Now that ma internet has been settled, i can blog now for hours... woohoo!
As i was unable to blog, i saved wadeva i wanted to blog in my computer. therefore, before starting to blog ma today's event i want to blog an ol but gold blog entry. Vokay!
This entry was actually on the 18th January 07.

On the 18 January 2007
For eight hours and more, I spent that afternoon plus the evening in Woodlands and Marsiling with none other my didi, Amarit. However, before my story with didi started… (Rewinding………)
Out of the blue, unexpectedly, I saw a familiar, notable, dignitary, VIP, big wheel walking towards my direction. Like a big celebrity walking that stupid walk. Even from that distance I knew it was that bloody saitan ke batchaaa pig! She was busy engaged in a conversation with her friend and I suppose that was Shamini la. After some time only, that batchaaa noticed me. I knew she saw me, but I just walked away, pretending that I never see that person. She deserved no attention from me. For the disappointment that she gave me in a nicely wrapped parcel: Aapu, 2days back, I did not want to talk to her for maybe 3 days! Such a batchaaa! So I walked away la. But this batchaaa suddenly came to me, “Hello, can I make friends with you?” I really did not want to laugh sia. But seeing that constipated monkey face, I laughed sia… Aiyo, Zul!!! You ah…backside cholesterol! Always trying something new-a disaster in brewing k. So stupid at times…you deserve a thrashing okay. What to do… no heart to scold you. What a batchaaa besty! Idiot! Next time don’t do that k. I won’t forgive you. Go ice that two kutty hills in blue n black, on ya forehead and cheekbone. Learn your lesson ya, dhosthe. Talked to zul, sayang that baby, hugged that batchaaa…and we went off. And I was still waiting for Amritooooo!!!

After meeting didi, we walked in to causeway not knowing what to eat and where to makan. We just went the way our legs took us. Then we went to Burga King finally. We got a meal each and settled. Then we started our tête-à-tête about every possible thing that flashed across our minds. It started from Vijay’s NS experience. Our class guys meeting up before the NS thing for steam boat. Our first three months in MI. Some sicko guy Amarit met in the first 3months journey. Haha… pity you didi… he was really sick talking to you about those sick things. Then yaa, the friends we really disliked.
Haha… yeah… miss those days. Shanthini mia baby friend. 04s9-my first three months’ Class. Gughan, Prasana, Priya, Xanthia, Kamini, the size 24 skirt person, Zully. Yaar that stupid captain ball match that we lost but we still enjoyed to the maximum. And do you remember the guy KUMARESH?????? He so wanted to be a pilot that cute guy. Haiz…..miss him sia…. Your love story. Wawa…can hear again and again. So nice. You guys are so compatible. I hate all those people who were not happy about it and saying all kind off things. To hell they all. Fucking people! That vinod guy who said things that made me felt wretched about me being with you guys. Tsk tsk. You scolded me for that then. Tsktsk.
Haha. We went to eat at about 230 but we came out at 430 plus aite.
Then we went to do the shopping for baby Jazlyn. All those baby clothes so small and cho cute sia. Omg! So cute!!!!!!! Cuter than me!!! And cho expensive! Then we chose two pairs. But both summed up to 80 bucks plus. Aiyo, then we had to let go one pair got that sexy shorts and the pretty matching blouse for Jazlyn. Heart pain sia… don’t worry when I get my pay this Saturday will buy that pair for Jazlyn. Vokay? Btw guys, if you guys are thinking of getting married and immediately getting a baby. Please re-consider. It is so expensive man, the pampers, the milk and the bottle, the sterilizer, baby pram, shower gels plus powder stuffs, clothes that grow small within days for that fast growing cutie, and etcetera la. Amarit and I were discussing how expensive would that be. Oh ma god, please plan guys. Best solution: marry a rich guy!!!
After getting baby Jazlyn her sexy clothes and toys we got ice cream and talked about the relationships of some people in our school. Ahhem… most famous was the relationship of MISHtaz and VICKjahan and some others. Aiyo, to love must have that Thil and Thillu (means heart and courage) to face all the consequences. If don’t have drop what ever love shit that is man! After all that we walked so far to vijay’s place and all the way to Marsiling talking many things. All of that I enjoyed la didi-listening and talking. Heart to heart chatting with you everything and also nothing was so good. So many things to talk about, but an afternoon and evening were not enough. So many things sia.

But the story that I felt really touched was the story about Suresh. I was really upset that such a thing had happened to a nineteen years old guy who had many dreams and hopes. All of that shattered within a day all because of a test that the doctors failed to take. Their assumption that it might not have affected him resulted in a big loss to his parents and also you. Im very sorry didi. I really wanted to hug you when you told me that. He advising you to do your A levels and also continue your MI journey was something which I have to thank him for. If he hadn’t told you that, I don’t think I would have met you. And mumy! Even without meeting him and seeing him, I somehow feel that he is so nice to be with, with a beautiful heart. Amarit like what you said earlier on, when you feel like giving up, do think of him. His dreams for you, do make them a reality. He will be proud and happy. You know writing about this, gives me goose bumps. He is definitely looking at you and guiding you all time.

The story reminded me of my mummy’s departure. She too left me suddenly. I still remember that she was having breathing difficulties and asthma the morning of Saturday 22/07/00. When she asked me, if I could accompany her to the clinic in Hillview, I told her, it would be late if I were to get ready and leave with her. So I told her to go first, will join you LATER. She left all alone. Till now, I wont forgive myself for doing that. She got down and few minutes later one Chinese lady came to my house saying that my maa fainted a block away. I was feeling so dubious that she is lying so i got down SLOWLY with asha. Getting down, I saw a crowd and that was only when I started running to the spot. I saw my maa on the ground, trying to reach out to me. Seeing her like that I died that very moment. I did not know what to do. But I kneeled down to her, she was tearing and she had a BIG swelling on her forehead. I rubbed the swell slowly, crying, was stupid then, did not know what to do. Just then my aunt (mum sister) staying blocks away came running. She also cried. The ambulance came. Maa got admitted in NUH was a Saturday. We went to see her that very day. The doctors told us that it’s nothing and that she will be discharged soon. Before we left, I saw my maa. She told me to study, do homework, don’t worry I will be back home to nag you guys again. She also told us that, finish your homework so don’t need to visit her tomorrow. I smiled and we went home. Sunday I was mugging doing math. My sisters hated me then because I was the reason why they did not visit maa too, on Sunday. You know Amarit, Monday came. The math teacher who was supposed to collect the math work changed the dateline to another day just because some stupid guy Stanley did not complete his work. I was so infuriated with Stanley and my math teacher. What the fuck! Just then, at 1045, the clerk came to my classmate telling me to pack my bag to go to the porch area and wait for my uncle. I was thinking why suddenly. What ever it is, I just did not want to think something would have happened to my maa. I just did not want to think of such thing. But when my uncle came, he was solemn. Did not even talk to me. Carried my bag took the same cab back to my home. Reaching the void deck, I saw many soldiers( fucking dad’s friends) in their uniform. Even then, I was praying it would not be anything related to my maa. I was praying real hard in my heart. Nearing the lift and my home was so heart throbbing. But I had no choice but to get home. Just as much I did not want to hear anything bad, I also wanted to know what is it that made my uncle solemn, my aunt crying at the void deck. Even then, Amarit I could not bring myself to think that something would have happened to maa. Was stubborn. Was praying. I got into the lift and that was only when my uncle hugged me so tight not letting me go and bursting out that, “maa left us da”. I was so motionless and the only thing I did was starting to tear and still hoping it would not be that. Coz my maa promised me that she would be back. She did promise you know. Stepping into my house to see my paathi, my uncles, aunts, cousins, and sisters crying, killed me at the spot. Seeing me at the door, the whole family burst into tears to me, what can I do. What I can do then. I felt the world was so mean to me how they could take my maa away when she was the only soul I was close to. My maa was now no more. I hated my dad who was the main reason to maa’s death. He killed her slowly. She was there just while ago. Now she was not.
I regretted why I did not accompany maa to the clinic. Why I said later to her. Why I did not say a word of thanks to her when she was there to tell me it’s okay, im here now. And why didn’t I say I love you maa and you the best maa in the world. All of that, I pushed it to be done later. The later did not come after all.
I missed that chance, all that chances to tell her that I love her so much and how much I love her chicken sambal. Never did I once hugged her unless she did. Aargh! I hated myself then and even now Amarit. I REGRET TOTALLY! Now 7 years. From the world I had ma maa to kiss me goodnight to the world where I don’t even use the word ‘maa’ anymore………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
I really miss ma maa guys. Sometimes thinking about her, could make me angry. She did not keep to her word. She did not come back afterall. The only soul whom I run to when I get injured and get nagged for not studying is now no more. The day I saw I saw her cremation I really hated death Amarit. I am so scared to see that. The whole funeral process I hate it so much like shit. I loathe it so much. I hate the whole thing. It is so scary. Seeing all that. I just do not want to see that again or miss someone that bad. It hurts even now when I think about it.
Aaaarghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Like what you said didi, we won’t know if there is a tomorrow anot, what if I die without fulfilling all my wishes and dreams…. I really do not want to regret. Not even a single thing. So today onwards there would not be a tomorrow, when we still have today, now to seize the moment. Tomorrow can wait………………………………………

.::no more of that FriENDship::.

2006-12-13T22:42:00.000+08:00

At this point of time, I don’t know if I should talk about it now.
This feeling within me was silenced for 2 days, for I did not want to talk about it then. Talking and thinking deep about it then and getting paranoid, perhaps would have made me a wimp and make me cry about what I had done, and I did not want that to happen. I just did not want to regret and it was fixed in my mind that I right the thing finally. On December 10, 2006 I quarreled with a friend. At first it was something very small, but when I kept thinking about the past few days’ incidents, it triggered my anger and broke my patience. For someone who doesn’t express her thoughts to me and talk to me, is not worth my time and pain as it drains out half my strength trying to think, brood over the questions that arose because of her silence. In all her silences, I did not see or feel that I was being treasured. Maybe she did, but I did not know for she sealed her lips. And I won’t know after all. Now I just don’t wish to care if she had cared or not, because it doesn’t make a difference. All the while it was her silence, now that this had happened; it does not create a difference to the silence that she had given me all these while. I just couldn’t take it anymore dear friend.

Friendship is about loving, understanding, treasuring and sharing. Because when you love a friend, you will be there for the person no matter what it takes or gives. When you understand him or his feelings, you foster the bonds as you learn how he feels and help him when the time comes, or hurt with him when he is alone. When you treasure, you sew in the memories of the person in you, keeping in mind of the gratitude, care and attention that one gave. And when you share, you let the friend know of how you feel regarding things that concern you two, which helps one to know his wrongs thus rectify his actions, and his goods so to carry on doing the deed.

Ha, the friendship that I had has to end on the 10th. It did not have the sharing, and the attention that I always wanted for years from that friend, only that friend to give me. After all, I saw the end in the friendship long time ago, but was stubborn to work things out between us and not wanting to lose the friend. Now that, I have come to the verge of giving up that fucking silent friendship, I have no regrets. Nevertheless, I was still the one doing the outgoing when there was no returns of that person, unless I beg for a response, which in most case, did not even help either. My closest friends told me, it ain’t worth I treasuring her, for she did not do the same. “Treasure those who treasure you” all those words they said were taken in, just that I was not sure if I should hate the friend completely and let go the friendship.
Truly, all the past quarrellings I had with the friend mostly were because of me-my habits. Agreed. Apologized, did not do the habits again. But then, she needed time to forget the past, and I was okay about that, just that she took a little long. Ishq! After all that, we got back as friends again, but this time we weren’t close as before. She had her group of friends and I also settled with mine. But then as friends we still msged… and that was only because I started the conversation, if not it would have been silence. So went on like that…
With some of her reluctant msgs with words of two or three, the conversation still went on, just that I started to feel that the friend is distancing. I tried to put in effort in trying to build the friendship again, but then it did not work. Just that it worsened. However, suddenly suddenly she made my day, with surprises messages. It was getting okay during the start of the holidays, which was what I thought. She was okay, but still did not talk much.
Suddenly she was close, suddenly she disappears…
Suddenly so nice, suddenly so cold…
Which am I suppose to look…

I still wanted her as my friend so I did not care those bad and went on, hoping that I will get back that old friend of mine whom I really liked then. What she asked I tried to get her just that she did not ask for any after the past events-maybe she was still thinking about them. Just weeks back she asked me to lend one of my thing to her. I said okay immediately for I know that by lending the thing it would make her happy. What matters is that, she asked me something after a long time and that would make me happy by doing what she asked. So I gave, knowing that it would be a hitch to my leisure-all I had was that to accompany me from morning to night (though my sisters have one each, they would not lend me) Its okay, still can go on without it, just that I have to plead or bribe my sisters to use theirs whenever I need to. Yaa, by giving her the thing, she was happy. She called me and told me that. I was happy that she was, finally I did something which she liked and made my dear friend happy after all those problems I had with her. She was happy for it had been months that she used it. As the days went by and quarrellings with my sisters, it made me infuriated. But it was okay, still tolerated it for a friend whom was happy with the thing I lent her. Just as the days past, her messages and calls all starting to lessened. Even when I messaged or called, that friend just avoided and did not want to reply to any of my messages. Was pondering what had happened to this person, and was getting worried and also irritated, as it was irritating to message and no replies coming in return. It was like; she was taking me for granted. But I waited and hoped for that friend to get back to me at least once.
Eventually, my sisters had their things to be done, and for them to let me use theirs, it would mean difficulty and problem. So I was dying in boredom without being able to use the thing and always arguing with my sisters, so I decided ask for the thing I lent her since it has been a week and a more. On Friday, I messaged her asking when I could have it back, hoping she will reply then at least. Initially there was no reply, but she did, saying that she won’t be able to meet up because she is having overtime. So I said okay, telling her perhaps Saturday would be good and that the time I will decide and tell her. But then after I messaged she did not reply for that.

The following day, I had stuffs to be done like meeting up with my dad to do asha’s (my last sister) passport. That was another mega problem, for meeting up with my dad drained my energy completely, waiting for him to finish his stuffs and then meet us. Moreover, I had to co-operate with my dad’s second wife (ain’t wanna address her as my step-MUM or what so ever, yuck) and his two new kids. It was an headache, imagine yourself with a totally unusual outing with a family that was suppose to be yours but now it ain’t because of dad’s thoughtlessness and with two kids who just can’t sit quietly in a cab, always screaming and trying to get on to the taxi-driver. Imagine! I got to hold the elder kid for he was disturbing the driver and the second kid was crying clinging onto his mother, my dad who was always doing last minute rushing. Was shit! Was getting irritated but I had no choice, as I was the eldest and had to do it for my sister. Thanks to raynuka who helped me check out the operating hours of the ICA building. Saturday they will close at 1.00pm but the last number would be given at 12.30pm, and I was in taxi, still on my way at 12.20pm, despite me waking up at 8am in the morning to get it done. But my dad delayed everything again. Every time it is like that. We reached there finally, and we were the last. Ahead of us, there were 75 people waiting. Irritating! Reached there at 12.30pm and we got out from the building at 3pm. Fucking hell, irritating people! That completely made my mood worse, starting to vent it on the ones who called me and messaged me. I was really frustrated to the extent that I wanted to punch the mirror. Switched off my hand phone for a while, just then that friend messaged and I didn’t get it till I switched on when I got back home. She messaged to meet me at 4 plus but now it was late. Then I replied her, if can meet now. And instantly she messaged no she can’t because she was out. Was it my fault that she was out? Okay, I asked her how about late at night and for that she did not reply. Was dead beats tired after the whole thing and now she was not replying. I did not want to miss her message again if I were to sleep. But then she still fucking hell did not reply. Bitch I hated you for that, just one word what bitch! You did not do that, at that point of time I was really frustrated and she not replying made me fucking pissed, messed and outraged. What was ya problem man? Taking me, my messages for granted! I just slammed my door and went to sleep. After that only, I was feeling a little better. I apologized to all those people-including her, who got scolded from me. Even then she did not reply. All the others replied asking me if I was okay. All I wanted was a message from that friend, she did not!

On Sunday, I was still waiting for her reply. She still did not. If she still wanted to use it longer, she could have told me or said something. I would have understood and again would have sacrificed for her to be happy. She did not do that either. All she did was being silent, keeping me in uncertainty. In the end, I messaged her again, if I could meet up today at least. All she had to tell me and talk to me, that she wanted it use it longer, and I would have given it to her. But, how will I know if she doesn’t talk to me. She did not reply instantly-simply defeats the purpose of INSTANT short messaging service. After a while she messaged me that, she can only meet up after 10, and I really I can’t meet her then coz I’d plans with my cousins. I explained to her that I cant then, and maybe 6.30pm would be good! For that she said “it is gonna rain big fuck at her place”. Upon seeing the f-word in her message, it pissed me, looks like I have irritated her by asking her. Who is the one man suppose to get irritated! Being the stubborn headed person I am and her pissing off message, I was even more persistent in getting it back. I messaged her, I want it I want it, and want it today. After today, I won’t even wanna see you, message you of fuck call you. Then for that, she instantly she replied, “ok, 6.30.” Good! That was a fast reply! I asked her other than her papers which I’d to give back, what I else must I bring along. She just messaged me her papers. Done! I just simply couldn’t take it anymore, all along it was silence and silence and silence. No replies, no calls! Perhaps she had found her friends, and I am nothing to her so she avoided me. After all the treasuring and trying to keep the friendship, I decided this is not worth it really! For some friend, I went behind like a puppy, wanting to keep the friend and not lose her, cared for, always wanted to spend time with and pray if I could have back that old her which I liked a lot then, and hoped that she will reply or even care or just talk to me, aaaargh…fucking hell, this is no can do for a friendship. We met up, and she gave me back my thing, took her papers, and with a bye, she left!

I really do not want to do this anymore, just end it man, this time for the fucking hell sake, im not coming back.
I swear I won’t, turn back! I rather am the one walking out in the friendship and hurt for a while than for lifelong with a friend who kept silent all along. Just like it had been in the past, with ash and loges, this friendship has to end too. I won’t come back to you for sure, unless you come and say something at least something. Every time, it had been me, doing the first move, the outgoing, there was not a time you sent me something at least a forwarded message bitch. Why? You did not see how much I treasured you, always keeping me in silence. Just so sad that, this friendship which I’ve been trying to treasure for years has to end-ask every one be it your closest friend ask them, I really did treasure you, always trying to get back, even beg and cried to get back the friend which was you! Now it is all waste. All the more save ya messages your time now! And ya 1 word messages can put to stop, for you don’t have to use ya energy sending them anymore. I hate that silence, just do not do it to others. It is painful to think and think and think, and eventually get paranoid to have many questions which arose because of ya silence! Try to talk and not keep quiet. When you open up, it would make things much easier. What is friendship, if you do not share, give time and trust by telling them how you feel. If you care for someone, just express it, or tell it for no one will know anything, if ya being silent. That’s all… thanks for all those memories you had given me.

Baby, carolin, priya, zul you guys know who I am talking about. Yap, I really know you guys do even if I don’t say a word. I am not sure if I have been mean, but I really couldn’t take it anymore. Really. Hama always says treasure those who treasure you, aite hama? Hama, baby, carolin I really hope you guys were there when it happened. All I wanted was a shoulder from that friend and words, and I did not get that. Was that too much to ask for?
Zul, this is what I really wanted to tell you, about this incident. But if I‘d told you earlier, you would have gotten mad, so did not want to tell immediately. Haiz, I shouldn’t have been close. Zul, when I think about it, I really wanted to be with you, and hug me and say it is gonna be all right. It hurts a little.
Carolin I really miss you. If you had been here, I would have cried and confided in you. Now that ya gone, it is scary to stand alone! Baby, I did the right thing, right? Very hurting baby, baby I just couldn’t take it anymore baby! Hama, I won’t ask why this had happened, like you always say “treasure…..” I did not feel or see anything from the friend. Gotten used to it. Argh, should be all right in a matter of time. Im fine, did not cry, or mutilate myself. It is not worth it. Btw raynuka, thanks for the help regarding the ICA building. Without ya help, I wouldn’t be able to get asha’s passport done. Haiz. I hate silence. I aint perfect. Nobody is perfect, I agree. But that doesn’t mean that I have to be nobody to that friend whom I was really treasuring and caring. All she had to do was talk. Im sorry if I had been mean to you dear friend, but place yourself in ma shoe babe… its hurting when the friend whom you really cared for did not even bother to give the attention that you really yearned for. Its all waste! All that effort I put in, those messaging, those years I have been crying for I’d felt that I’ve disappointed you and the friendship is all trash. It is an apprehension that the one whom I try to treasure, keep and care for, has to hurt me in the end… and when it was you, I was and am letdown. Haiz, it is sad to know that, the friendship has become emaciated. Our friendship has become emaciated. I do not regret for that, all I regret for is that I failed, maybe stubborn to heed the advice from my other friends and still went on treasuring you. I hate you now, I really do!

the forwarded msg

2006-12-08T22:55:00.000+08:00

My very dear friend Prakash
Sent me a forwarded msg…
It was nice and fun…
This is what he sent:

From: Prakash Boy
Fill it!
Send back to me k.
3 things you won’t forget about me:
1)>
2)>
3)>
Name you wanna call me:
>
The best word that describes me:
>
You wanna be my:
>

After reading that MSG, I sent him what I suppose to…
Then I immediately forwarded the MSG to Priya, Amarit, Kailing, Jayne and Zash
Eventually Kailing din reply…errrr!!

Priya replied:

From: Priya guru
3 things you won’t forget about me:
1. The moments we cried
2. The way we studied for exams
3. The little secrets we share about
the people we get angry with at times
Name you wanna call me:
Ran
The best word that describes me:
Gemstone
You wanna be my:
Sister or best friend

Amarit replied:

From: Amrito
3 things you won’t forget about me:
1. Ur hair, its 1 of a kind!
2. Ur always missing socks n u gt
caught by ram haha
3. Ur cheerful smile every morning
esp wen u wana cut bus queue
Name you wanna call me:
Squigly giggly
Haha its my toy wich is soft n colourful
Loks sily n has grizly hair
Its so u!
The best word that describes me:
Charismatic
You wanna be my:
Sister

Jayne replied:

your hair, your anjadiness and your
brown sneakers. I will call you frizzy baby.
And you are cute and I want to be your best fren!

Zash aka maamy replied:

From: Adlinah Zash-Maamy
3 things you won’t forget about me:
1. U play gr8 tennis even tho uve
neva had prior backgrnd.
2. How ure an idiot by still being so
nice to _ _ s _a!
3. you’re always there when I need a
listening ear =)
Name you wanna call me:
Venus Williams
The best word that describes me:
Loyal
You wanna be my:
Mummy 4eva!

and the folowing day, i msged the same msg to ray and kannan...

ray msged:
3 things you won't forget about me:
1. your hair
2. your vulgarity
3. the way you say anthay materum vanthethey muthirum
Name that you wanna call me:
senganadu fifi (myrax goondu ray-from ran)
the best word that describes me:
sensitive. to everybody's feelings and yourself.
you wanna be my:
Loosupennai frendu...

kannan replied:
3things you won't forget about me:
1. ur hair
2. ur everlasting smile
3.ur 50 dollar dress...rmb high tea.
Name you wanna call me:
Ran karupampootchi (kannan ill kill you da-from ran)
the best word that describes me:
Mangamma jag
you wanna be my:
father-in-law...
(haha, cant wait that long for ya son kannaaaaa-from ran

The forwarded message,
I sent the forwarded message to baby, laykuan too…
And they did reply!

Baby aka finah replied:
3things you won’t forget about me:
1) Your crazy kewl hair
2) your noisy rants! Really miss it
3) Da only person who calls me baby.
Name you wanna call me:
Baby, shanky, ran
The best word that describes me:
A phrase can? A precious gem.
You wanna be my:
Baby always!!! Yay!

Laykuan replied:

1. your hair
2. your laughter
3. your outgoing character
Name you wanna call me:
Ran
The best word that describes me:
Sporty
You wanna be my:
Friend

Haha thanks guys. Thanks baby…and you will always be my small baby.
That won’t change, for sure! Okay!!! Happy!
And laykuan thanks for keeping ya promise, haha!
So nice of ya to reply.
Btw have a good day..sweeties.

Woohoo…I love ya guys…
basically, it was my hair...that was the thing that peeps wont forget...haha!!
Haha…
That really made my day!!!
Especially mummy thanks maa….
Muaks…we should run together eh!!!!
ray, kannaaaa you guys will getit da..
and people like baby, azlin, vivocity, if ya free...please do the survey tooo
hahaha....
tatata....

treasure what you have....

2006-12-07T23:29:00.000+08:00

Didi Amarit, thanks for helping me in the search for a job…
Haha…
Thankiu didi…
Love ya…
Will treat you soon once I get my pay…
Btw, baby sorry in the tag box some mistake happened...

haha, blur la...

anyway bintan, hows life?
Baby how ya?
Kinda weird without carolin to talk to…
She is in indo…
Dunno what she is doing there…
Baby she msged me la…
Was happy…
Btw…afterall ya also flying on the 20th…
All go la…
I will be very happy what…
tsktsk... sobx
Someone once sed we no need many friends, only one true friend will do…
Haha…funny
I aint lidat…
I need all…
Truly from my point of view,
One friend to confide…
But more to be merrier…
Carolin cmon if ya reading this, drop me a message…
I miss ya man…
No SIMS eh…
Cant even play with that…
Btw went to run...for the past few days…
Need to lose more…
Wanna look good…

running at the stadium especially when it rains wawa kewl laaa...

like it...must do it again!
Btw…
Kinda bored…
No laptop with me coz I lent it to a friend…
So sayang that the friend had no comp for some days maybe months…
So by making that soul happy, I can be happy what…
Now that friend went missing…
No msgs, or calls…
Nvm, as long that idiotic friend is happy, me happy…
Fuck friendship
For friendship will do everything, but in the end not being treasured…
Argh…
Starting to hate life
Its boring…
So using my sister’s…
Cant use for long if not she will nag…
So yaar, my time for using the net is running up
And there she comes to nag me
Gotta go bye…
Baby, msg me…
Zul, if ya reading my blog…
I want to remind you of the thing that ya suppose to give me…
I will kill ya da…
And zul call me when ya free…
Vokay…love ya zully…dun be notti!

priya, tell me the shallet dates again, mite bring along asha and prakash!!!

baby, and you too, tell me when and where to meet ya...

zully, il kill ya soon...love ya tho beasty besty!!!

atleast ive got u guys, to keep it going...

do you really care anot?

2006-12-07T23:25:00.000+08:00

Today farnaa and I decided to go for an interview…
But at the last moment farnaa couldn’t and I din wanto…
Simply earning peanuts via the teaching of kids…
Gotta tell ya primary 6 mathematics and science are killers
The mathematics is still okay…still manageable-can solve them after sometime…
The difficult part comes when explaining the method to them…
But okay, they are fast… when it comes to math… whew….
However science can really make me think and make me worried…
Sometimes I must check out the answers given in the back to confirm if im right…
Most if the time I am right lol…
Wasting regret my primary school time…
No worries, after school go and play at the playground…with ma then friends
-Prakash, aathi, loges, kesavan, Arul, vithi me and some others…
Going home late, then get caned from my chwet momma…
Sometimes with the umbrella…very painful…
After that, she will come and feed us…
My second sister will get beating too, for hiding the truth…
Hahaha…
Oby-quack!
That was one good time…

Now, its only Prakash and vithi I am still close to…
And about loges-my 11year best friend-after a quarrel, I stopped talking to her…
Regret it now coz I do miss her…
But its all for good…
Coz whenever im with her, troubles just do come a calling…
So best leave it lidat…
However she was one good friend…
Always being there for me till end…really I meant that…
She was always protecting me…
However most of the problems were unnecessary problems which could have been avoided, but its her obstinate behavior which crop up problems in the end…
Days ago I saw her again at Bukit Panjang Plaza-once a time, that was my fav plaza…especially, the bowling alley!
Upon seeing her, I started to panic…I just din want her to see me…
I was not prepared to see her too…
Just din feel like talking to her, or see her…
It has been like that for 2 years, so better that way…
Just like ASH from MI, she knew and ma close friends knew…
I was just her spare tyre…
She betrayed my friendship…
After several conversations, she simply made me hate life that moment…
And there I din think, cut ma hand for her…
And the scar still remains…(shit scar la-hate that mark now!)
I wont forget that…
Priya, Amarit, Misha all knew…about it then…
Amarit really thanks la, u stood by me then…
Yap, she knew everything…
Infact Amarit was upset then- still remember…
She only helped me with the bandaging during the recess time…
Aiya…long story…
Simply hate ppl…who betray then pretend it never happened…
Aiya this kind off people should not even be in this world la…
Don’t know how to treasure… friendship…
After the real friend goes, then they will come and say im sorry…
Fuckit.com la…
When the friend is near don’t know how to treasure, after that the person go away, then regret…
Same thing…
Right now people im close to are many…
Amongst these people, I may not know everything but some thing about each individual…
Some worth to treasure…
Some worth to keep for livelong…
Just like my primary school friend-Prakash,
My MI best friend Zul,
My didi amarit,
My sister priya,
My tennis aunty jayne.
My Maaaamy, Zash,
Bintan-finaa and carolin especially,
Mickeymouse,
Kannan,
And others…
Some worth to be kept in distance….
Some la…
Some people…
Whom im still questioning within myself…
If the person does really care anot….

god has plans-but the aapu i wun forget!

2006-12-06T20:16:00.000+08:00

okay what was planned din reli happen on the dec 4th: flying overseas with ma sister and ma aunt's family and friends.
it was all my fault perhaps....

wadeva isit...
it was an ponneh big aapu on ma face!!!
okay guys, who ever is still holding on to a blue passport which was taken years ago
please for fucking hell go get it changed...
coz its all red now!!!!
red passport...

asha mia chweet sista...was holding on to a blue one...
okay i din know that all singaporeans should have a red one...
not everyone knew okay (thats why i din know lol)
pack ma things, geting excited to go to the customs..
In the customs, chkg of the passports happened la..............
my passport aunt's uncle's their kids and their frens' passports all okay...
but then only the ponneh naari appu came lol...
they seized asha's passport...
(for a moment i thought why do they have to seize asha's PassPort-getting paranoid adi)
bloody myrax...
yaa...
they told me they would refer us to a higher authority for asha's passport...
what laaaa..............why?
anywhay so much of time we had wad...
take ya time la...
higher authority then police people then what...
bring the whole police la...
afterall for a mini sized problem...wana do many things...
my uncle aunt cousins were all getting afraid...
saw that in their eyes (tamil drama la)
and okay...
after all the time-consuming procedures, they told only one thing-one sentence...
"go back home, cannot cross the customs"
ponneh naari la....
vacchaana aapu...
he could have simply saved all those talking, walking and myrufying looking of up and down
(as if i killed someone and running away lol)
myrax...
kunjimon monsters..
so asha cant go la...
but without ma sister how to go la...
like leaving ma kannukku kannaane thongacchi alone (fres-use sister aka precious sister! -in the tamil movie somthing something pakkia raj will say fresh use baby for precious baby) ...
kadavalae...
come so far to hear this la...
so near yet so far...
my aunt was doing the talking trying to convince the authority we should be allowed...
eventually all those people were still sticking onto their naari ponneh decision of not allowing asha to cross the customs...
periya customs la...
my grandmother also can cross...

okay guys...totally ma fault, cant blame the customs...
they doing a good job..
felt so proud that we have a tite security...
so eventually , with no hearts to say bye, i left with ma sister...
they cancelled ma entry...
so went back..
cousins were all upset...
disappointed...
aunts and uncles were all upset...
but look at the bright side...
back home...
still crying...
and ive got ma frens and sisters-amarit and priya-to call it a day...

i think god has some plans in mind...
so din want us to go..
yaar, guys so this is ma sad story...
hope you guys read and feel fer meeee...
tsk tsk...
carolin if ya reading this dun laff...
i miss ya...when i din had you to tell the tragedy to ya...
msg me lol...love ya miss ya...
bubbye...

BinTaN i MiSS YoU GuyS

2006-11-27T22:28:00.000+08:00

okay guys, i cant wait for thursday...
VIVOcity eh...
okay...sure i'll be there...
btw...
holidays have been boring...
and im always thinking about you guys...
Azlin I miss you...
Gayu you too...
Carolin...
tsk tsk...miss ya nagging...
and baby...
miss ya cuTe Non-sense...
hope to see you guys soon
Btw, coming dec 4th im flying...
so before that, its a must to see u guys...

And Priya if ya reading this...
i too miss you kay...
hahaha...
thanks for keeping me happy and on....
for all these while...
thanks da...

and guys i hate the incident which happened on fri-misha incident...
regret ma life...after that...
and thinking about that...
i miss ma mumy tooo...
all these while...
was really down...
but was okay, after talking to priya, amarit, and pigy'larling...
so guys, im okay now...
but will be better if i see you guys soon...
and yaar, for the vivo city, i might be bringing along HEMA ma counter part whom i missed alot...
hemaaaa, the S1 gal...
yap, she will be joining us, hope you guys don mind...
for it has been years that ive even hugged and talked or even seen her...
she cant wait to see url...plus shahnaz...
haha...
cant wait for the vivo...

VIVO here i come....

HaTe YoU GaL !!!!

2006-11-27T22:26:00.000+08:00

On 24th November Friday
Hmm…was so bored…
Infact lost ma sleep for the past few days…
I have been awake till 4am…
Msging nermala aka carolin
Or talking to Shiva…
Tsk..
Hmm…dun know…
Tsk…
Btw yaar, boring
BORE-INKKKKKKKKKKKKK
I miss ma baby, ma bintan…
Mishaaaaa…
Talking about misha,
There was something bad… which happened today Friday 24th november..
I was again castigated, dispirited!
Had a slap on ma wrist perhaps face…
With words the mother spoke to me…
For a moment I hated my life as Ran..
Questioning myself…
Am I really that bad?
A negative influence?
Cmon, I din influence that very friend of mine…to have a Boyfriend…
I never did that…
In truth, I was against their relationship after the first problem that cropped up
Advised her… and I can’t do anything more than that...aite
Basically I wanted to call misha out, for it has been weeks that ive seen her…
Wasn’t really afraid coz I din do nothing wrong…
But then…
(my backside cholesterol la…shouldn’t even have thought about that… REGRETS, never did I learn my lesson after first unnecessary helping for her which indeed cost my pride and name)
I dunno what the mom sees in me…
Isit the way I talk, or what??
My hair isit, for her to judge me as a bad influence…
Cant understand…
Isn’t judging someone wrong via the looks…
Is she a supreme court to send judgments upon people?
And yaar, her judgments are wrong anyway…
Everytime saying, you don’t have a mother aite…
Cmon la, true I dun have…
But look, who is the one being “lidat” with a mother around her…
Definitely I wouldn’t do anything that would cost the tears of my mum...
Even after seeing her mum’s tears she still continued with the shitty relationship…
Im sorry dear friend…
Im just pissed…
With what ya mum had told me…
She aint ma friend, my relative…
Neither is she ma teacher or someone close to me…
I don’t have to take such words from her…
All coz of one incident where, I agreed to help u to clear away the shit you were you going through at the bukit batok mrt station…
Misha thanks a lot, even a good friend would not have helped you in that dire situation…
But look, your stupid foolish friend, I mean your “negative influence” helped you again and again…
What I get in return…
Words that I loathe a lot…
Sommore from whom…
Someone whom I din know at all…
For being ya friend you had given me a very good title…
Im really pissed…
Frankly speaking…
i told my aunt about what ya mother had said to me…
It means nothing to me…
For im still in the right…
Anyone can tell that…
The whole school knows about the shitty relationship of yours…
And ya mother thinks that its coz of me… you got into the shit…
Why can’t you tell her the truth...
See what it has done to me…
Is it fair…
I told amply times that it aint right to go with the person…
We told you…
Gayu told you, loshni also…
You never heed…
In the end its my name…
Crap la…
Every time you know…
“you don’t have a mom”
Please la…
Even when mum was around never did I do such a thing that would bring tears…
For I love ma mum a lot…
And my mom taught me to help people in need…
That was what I did…
But my mother din tell me that I should only help those who deceives it and capable for standing for one’s rights…
You din even stood up for me when I was being castigated…
Infact you used me da…
Even then I came back to you coz you were ma friend…
Friendship has no end aite…
But this friendship has to end today, now….
Right now…
I aint want a friendship that gives me a bad name, and unnecessary shit and hurting words in the end…
Im not in wrong…
Im not…
And misha mother, ask the school, maybe the class, and see who is wrong again and again…
And im aint a bad influence…
Don judge people by the way they look…
Look at the heart…
You have hurt mine…
Never did you think I was getting hurt…
Neither did you think im also the same age person like ya daughter when you said things like that…
Every time bad influence, what have I done…
You know anything?
You don’t infact…
That’s why shit has been still continuing behind ya back…
A friend would stand by you all times…
I have done mine!
Most times…even when I was accused as the reason to why you got into shitty relationship...
What have you done?
And yaar, now tell the world I din help you keep the truth…
I am a bad friend…and etc…
Ive done enough and aint want to do ya shit anymore…
To misha mum,
I have a mum, she is still with me…
In me…
Only that I cant see her…other than that, I love her…
And wont make her cry…
I came from a good family…
Just that I kept quiet while helping ya daughter again and again
Don’t you ever say that again to me…
Coz the next time I won’t be quiet to take ya words again…
And btw people from good family won’t hurt a soul…
Get that first…
Im not in wrong in saying that

(BINTAN today was a horid day….… im so angry…why are there people not being understanding…
And giving out remarks that hurt one soul… extremely angry… simply could take a glass and break it…
And cut myself… tongue-lashing words so hurting… I rather self-mutilate than to hear words like that…
But I am not gonna do that for people like them…
I promised that I won’t even look back at you misha…
I won’t…
I promise…
Give a thought if that what you say or do would hurt one anot…
Me aint perfect but it just hurts and I want you to know….
Goodbye...
Saying good bye kills the hope of meeting again in life…
I won’t want to meet you again…
And a BIG GOOD BYE to you…
Baby, Azlin, carolin, gayu, hope you guys read this…
Sorry for not telling you all what had happened…
Was hurt…and din want you all to hurt with me…tsk
I have got url…you guys got my back…
Hope I’ll have yours’ too…
And that’s what keeps me going…)

From,
Hurt rant

??? LoVe LiFe ???

2006-11-27T22:22:00.000+08:00

Love life was sucky
After some sour experiences…
I just told myself that I din wanna get involve in such thing any more…
Coz it is so hard to find a guy who truly understands…
And does not take advantage
If he doesn’t give a 100% into a relationship there is no point
Being together…
And often suspects and never gives me the time I need…
I hate being in a relationship…
I was too afraid that it might happen again…
All over again, getting mortally wounded…
Its heartrending…I dun wanna do it all over again
And I dun wanna cry coz of a guy…
Truly k, guys are never worth the tears...
Maybe a few good guys…
Just a handful of them… maybe
It sucks to be in a situation where you realize that
after all you had done, it sums up to be nothing to the very person
whom you regard as the ONLY one…
words after words which proved nothing at last…
Haiz…
They always say not to have the past in between of the present happenings…
But the past always keep us in check…
Okay…
Haiz… I dun know if I should trust this guy…
I ain’t if he would do the same thing the fisher did…
Im just afraid…
Do you think I should give him…
A chance…
After all, he is ma god brother’s best friend…
He wouldn’t aite…
If I give him the chance…
Bintan, help me out in this…
I need advise yaar…

A Level Finally Over

2006-11-17T20:38:00.000+08:00

Exams are over
Just came back from my last paper…
Today everyone weren’t crying…
They weren’t hugging one another…
Hmm… all went separate ways after the paper…
But in each and everyone’s heart there was a lil sorrow…
A sorrow that is gonna be with us forever…
A sorrow that was not spoken…
I felt so weird…
Today was the last day…
In school…

Misha went to the library to return her overdue books…
I accompanied her…
After that kannan came…
I had a water gun…
I sprayed at him…then misha…
Haha…
One of the last few things I did with them…
Then kannan, misha and I walked towards the canteen…
On the way, I saw kailing and laykuan…
I really wanted to go say bye bye and hug kailing…
Im gonna miss her so much…
But dunno la…I just walked past her…
Din know how to go talk her…
It is just weird…
Because we both know
We are not that old good frens
That we used to be
That we about to go
And not gonna contact each other
And we know it very well…
This is the last for the frenship…
I think so…
Btw yaar, I saw her…
But couldn’t do anything…
Misha was there…
She was about to take her leave…
She came and to me and said…
Give me a hug…
Haha..
I did give her one big bear hug…
Miss her…
And she left…

Walked down to the bus-stop…
With bintan and kannan…
Was feeling so heavy at heart
Was still thinking…
We played for while at the bus-stop…
Then the bus came…and we took it…
Tataz to kannan…
In the bus, I saw kailing again sia…
Din know what to say…
So nothing la…
Baby, carolin, and I went to BK…
Makan and then baby’s boyfriend came…
Together we ciao…
Before we decided to meet on tues or friday
And I left for home…
That’s all for today…

Aiya… so fast la…
Time flied…
Im just gonna miss all of them…
Gonna miss misha…
A lot..
Ma bintan also…
And kailing too…
Haiz… will write again later…
No moods…

One More Day

2006-11-17T20:31:00.000+08:00

Kadavalae…
(Means god)
Finish la…
A level over ready la…
One more last paper…
Then a level over
Close eyes…
And open…
A level over…
Aiyo…
Time flies…
Just lidat…
Enna la…
(means what’s this)
But let me tell you it was fun, painful, and crazy…

Fun because
I never see myself enjoying with books around me almost the whole day
The whole two weeks books…notes…
Toilettakku ponaa books, bedroomkku ponaa books, dining table oso books…
(means go toilet books, bedroom books, dining table oso books)
Ishq!!!
(Exaggerating hehex)
Padicchi kilichi mudicchi resting now…
(means study, tear, finish and resting now)

Crazy and Painful because
Alone at home no companions
(excluding ma grams-she is always inside the tv, to be precise SUN TV in other words SIN TV
Crying crying crying, myrax…starting from 12pm till 1030pm la, all the way crying la! Mega-crying series!
Myrax! This time I am not exaggerating for good god’s sake! Anyone want to learn to cry in different ways
And how to take revenge please ah subscribe to myrrufying SIN TV! So irritating la…
Some more I cant see my American next top model, smallville, charmed all…all coz of the bloody myrax SIN TV…
After all these if I just switch the channel only for a while to see American next top model, she will go, “ Chichichi… whats this show about, never wear anything, kullikki kullikki dancing only! Chichi what url learning…change the channel..” argh!!!! What ‘s wrong man!!! See SUN TV, what you learn!!! Tell me! Survival of the fetus became Serverveil of ta fetus! That’s the English like in Sun TV, not kidding!!! Check it out! It’s a spoiler TV, SIN TV)
Coming back to ma craziness,
Yaar no friends eh, no school eh, no Ms lee’s voice, miss her la, sok leng’s voice, all dun have…
Tsk tsk…
Was going crazy, all my school life was like gone…
No more time table, recess, assignments…
So excruciating to go through that period without all these…
Suddenly u are being with no around you…
Mickey mouse, Misha plus kannan play time, bintan chat time, sokleng’s blahahahahah,
Turn to right to see kailing oso dun have now…
Akira and vijay jokes…
Ishq!!!
Laykuan’s tissue in her nose all gone…
Couldn’t see all of that for that period and even now…
Painful right?
Was going nuts staying at home…will b going again in this holidays…

Guys I dunno la…
Maybe I will miss you all
The worst thing people like misha and uma will vanish into thin air
Misha do something about ya mummy please….
Tok to her, make her understand we will miss you…
And we are not a bad influence
(dun judge me by ma looks la)
Im good oso k…
U shud noe…
I miss you sha… love you so much okey…
If I get married (that will happen very soon)
I expect you to be my bridesmaid…for all these to happen tok to ya mum k…
If not I’ll kill you before tying my thalli knot…
Billion of hugs to u…

And
Kailing wont wanna meet me…
If asked she would say “ dun wan, ….”
She wont understand that I will miss her so much too…
Kailing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Some times I just feel like bullying her, in the end I kena bullied!
I will miss all that bitch!!!
You, your stoooopid but cute attitude, nvr smiling face…
Ur very long msgs that will never exceed 3 words…
Haha what a darling fren… almost quarrelling 365 days…
Haha…that was hurting but when I think about it I laff now…
Will miss you darling…
You also if nvr come to ma wedding, and if you were to say, “…., dun wan, whateva…”
I will kidnap you la for sure…the night before I kill misha…

And off coz bintan…
Will not miss you guys…
Coz I think I will meet you all every day…
And everyday…eat kfc…
Haha…
But sure I love you all…
And if you all not in my wedding beside me, on the stage, cheering me…
I wont let ma hub to tie the thalli… you all shud be there…that’s for sure!!!
And when I have my first child, we all should meet up at kfc…
All means bintan, plus kannan plus misha, priya, amarit, jayne, laykuan, kailing, mickey, sam maybe, …
To discuss what name to give for ma junior baby ran…..
My husband should be able to treat you all…
If not divorce him…

All of these must happen…
One day….
Aiya…
I just miss you all la…..
Alots…..
Truck loads….
Aero plane loads…
I love you all bintan, kannan, sha, kailing…
Love amarit, zul my best frienddu, priya, jayne and ms lee..
So much…

!Within These Four Walls, Ishq!

2006-11-01T13:48:00.000+08:00

Within the four walls
Me
In loneliness
And
In that loneliness
Every second
Seems like a year

Ishq

This feeling of
Loneliness
Is so agonizing
Suddenly being left alone
To complete the remnants
of the 3year journey…
A beautiful journey
That is gonna end
A full-stop to high-school life…
A few more days for the
EXAM…
How does it feel, huh?
All alone…
Pushing ya self…
Not to quit…

Ishq

No more class time
No more tennis
No more Mrs. Mayor after short skirt
No more that sorta of fun I had,
With Misha, Kannan, Bintan…
Miss those days I simply turn behind to
Look at misha…
She giving that Monkey Face
Acting big…
“what see see?”
No more of that fun…
No more lectures…
No more letters-passin in midst of lessons…
Where is this gonna bring me to…

Ishq

Jayne mentioned and motivated me
That it’s the last match that we are playing
As a team…
A last match which is gonna determine our
Lives-whether to NUS or NTU…
Ishq…
I know she believes in me…
I should not let go…
At least for my partner

Carolin thanks for guiding me…
Scolding me to look after ma health…
Haha…
I will…

Btw thanks…
Gotta go back to mug…
In this loneliness…
The loneliness I hate for now…
For I am surrounded not with friends
But with BOOKS within four walls…

Ishq…

maaaa sooo sweeet cuteeee babbehhhh.....

2006-10-25T12:45:00.000+08:00

i miss you...
i love you...
i want you...
i like you...
ma one and only
sweet babeh....

Also
mia finah baby
ran love you...

sorwie...

dun angry

be happy...

smile owaz...

HIGH TEA AT THE MOUNTAINS

2006-09-23T20:00:00.000+08:00

Orh ma god!!!!!
High tea was remarkably marvelous!!!
Okay I din really expect it to be that splendid…
Okay!!!
I was even thinking about not turning up…
Cos I wasn’t prepared to go…
Aint sure of what to wear…
And in monetary wise I was literally penniless…
All these made me, pretty reluctant to attend it…
But holy sheeeesh!!!!
Orh man…lucky mua, din I do that!!!!
For I would have missed an awe-inspiring day with mia frens…
Close ones…best ones….frens… and even teachers!!!
Amarit mere didi (my sister) was there to help me…
She got me a pair of beautiful earrings and a brace….
Moreover she lent me some of her jewel…
She was really eager to help me…
Not mentioning mum…she even gave money to didi,
To help me get a dress…
I din wanna bother mum a lot
But Amarit and mum kept on insisting…
But again god’s grace…ma sis lorshe’s gown was brought back
from its resting place-mere aunt’s place!
We searched high and low fer that bloody black thing….
Lucky I found it…
If not Amarit would have spent for me…
Thanks god and thanks Amarit…
And thanks MoMMa…
(I will do well for alevels for you…your sweet heart and smile!)
Love ya…
In fact Amarit talked me out that it might be the last thing
That we are all attending as a class,
Group of frens! It was true…
It might be and I din wanna do a grave mistake by not going!
Thanks Amarit for the words which made me go…
Thakiu didi…
And yaar, the Bintan gals!!!!
They gave me the confidence that all will turn out well…
When I showed them what I was gonna wear,
they gave me beautiful words that
Made me realize that I should go in that dress
And that I looked great in it…
All those words made me turn up…
Thanks to gayu akka for the scarf
Which protected me from the cold…
And I felt comfy with that on…
And baby finah… I love you okay!!!
okay she did ma hair…
And helped me with the touch up stuffs…
Thanks baby!!!
Azlin sister thanks for keeping me
Sheltered on that day…
Moreover, your tips on straightening my hair…
Made me a darl on that day…
Thanks for making me feel home…
And carolin my best friend,
Thanks for making it possible for me
Without you I dun think I was ready to go too!!!
Not forgetting JOJO my sweet Buddy,
What you sed was true…
I shouldn’t let comments affect me…
Thanks for advising and making me special buddy…
Thanks for standing by me…
Thanks to all…
My god…you see what you guys did for me….
You guys made me special and different for the day…
Many comments from teachers and friends
When we made our way to the fort canning place there
(aint sure what’s the name of it-me very bad with direction)
First we all met up at Dhoby G. station
(again I forget the spelling)
BAD IDEA GUYS….
D.G station is a big place! You can get lost k…
May be I will… lucky I met gayu first…she was so pretty!
She wore shudithaar….just like REEMA SEN…
Ma fave actress!!!
She looked like her too…
Gayu you were so REEMA SENNY on that day!!!
You looked special okay!!!
Followed by her was tyra bang bang carolin! Haha!
Yap you so tyra bangggy yesterday okay
In the soooo short skirt…
(Exaggerating)
Next I met JOJO and AZ at the entrance of the Plaza Sing…
(JOJO was the first to be there at the station waiting for us)
Sorry JOJO for making you wait for
FIVE gorgeous gals for more than 5 minutes…
(AHHEMZZZZ)
U aint gonna deny that aite!!!!
If u would, I will kill u again on Monday!!!
Btw yaaaaar…
Azlin looked so gal, so different…
She was so APPEALING in the green blouse with the rose!
One day I might borrow it from you to meet my guy…
(if u say NO I’ll kill you with JOJO again on MONDAY)
JOJO looked like a MAN not like the usual BOY…
He looked so JOAKIM…
So charming and cute!
Haha…and again we all left JOJO waiting for us
Coz I was at the WEE WEE centre
(washroom, I mean)
Making ma hair…
Azlin gayu and carolin helped me with that…
Three people to do ma hair after straightening it…
Dun pway pway!!!!!!!
Then we all proceeded to KFC
Ma favorite place for chicky-chickens.
But we din eat chickens OKKKKKAAAAAAYYYY!!!!!
Only drinks…
Some more JOJO treated us…
Thanks JOJO for being the man, the gentleman!
We all love you!
Hope you will be gentleman like this, in school…
Maybe at the canteen laaa…
What ya say…
(Just playing)
Btw we all waited for more than 3 hours for the high tea queen…
Shafinah…
Okay when she came the sky really got black..
It was dark ready la…
Wallau weh…so long for her…
(Exaggerating)
She came with a stunning look…with that coat I say
If I had the chance,
I would have worn that coz it was so cool….
She looked so faboulous…so cute!!! I like!
Anyways we started walking for the place…
We walked and walked and walked…
Climbed…many many stairs maybe like more than 100 stairs…
(Not exaggerating this time round)
Some more with our highhhh heels….
Suckers why that place afterall…with so much of stairs…
Idiots…high tea at the Mountains I would say…
(live up to the name eh..ma arse)
****.it.com…
Gayu the best she took off her heels to climb that stairs…
Haha…that was funny…
We came to this traffic light okay…
It was all ready the blinking green man…
Tak boleh lari la (cannot RUN)…high heels maa….
Lucky baby held me all the way…
Alas we made it there.
Against many odds…

Yap once we reached there…we saw Laykuen Kailing and Gab
Laykuen was cool and Gab like a Star and Kailing I rather not say…she was hot
And yaar…we made it there…and many of them sed I looked different…
Mr fung also…
Wow that was so COOL…
Getg such words from Mr fung is once in the yellow moon…
I love u Mr fung…
We registered our names and we we were suppose to be seated at table 13
Just shortly Samantha came…
She looked sweet…
Her ring was attractive… Amarit and I were talking about the ring.
Sam was real nice… and beautiful…
Just then, they announced that we can go take out seats…
I saw jayne…she looked like a diva ya….
So chilli hot ya…
Didn’t believe that was her!!!
Hot hot hot hot hot hot
We went to the table 13…
On the table there were some notes and pills from Mr chen…
He was sweet…
Tho he wasn’t there in person…his words were with us…
Yap…
Amarit, Vijay, Sam and Akira were sitting with that us Bintan gals and Mojojojo…
Kewl aite…
Yap it was for me…
We even won…shoes and chocalates…thanks to akira…
Cuz of his brains and courage we got them…
Yap…the principal…basitd…and others…
Went blah blah blah for the day…
Until it came to the prize ceremony…
I was nervous…
Scared…
Was holding onto Amarit…
Sam was so nice to ask akira take the picture…
Of me getting the prize…
Thanks sam and akira…
I got the prize alas…happy happy…
Haha…princi sed thanks, and that im special…
Even much more happy happy!
Haha…
Yap then again blah blah…
Until the bartley arts FL came onto the stage…
Her words were inspiring…
I felt what she was conveying to us…
Just then food came…
We makan la… hungry mah…
Then we took many many photos…
I took with kannan…the Bintan gals…the Bintan gals with JOJO!
Sam…Amarit n priya…akira, vj, gab, carolin and me…
With Farna…yani…the whole group of table 13…
Mr fung…
Miss Wu…
Miss Lee…
Laykuen…
Jayne…
Mummy zash…
S2 hot gals- Joane, yana…
The whole class…
Farna, yani and hady…
Many many la…
Forget to take with mo and suzette…
But Kailing I din want to…its best this way!
We dun deserve to be frens…maybe a passing cloud…
However we enjoyed till the end…
Whole heartedly…
Then there was this PowerPoint slide…
Teachers giving their wishes and misses to their classes…
That moved me and Amarit…
It was touching…I enjoyed it…
Mr luke chen was nice…
And I think mr tan was also sweet…
In overall, I was happy to the max…
I founld ma true frens…
Farna, yani, the BG, jojo, kannan, amrito and vj!
I am happy…
I will cherish this moments for ever..
All these memoirs are etched im mia heart…
Forever and ever…
Love all of u guys…
For making it special….
friday, 22nd of september...the best in the three years...
i will remember it...forever...

ZuLLY BLAcQuE MISdEMEANOR

2006-09-19T22:52:00.000+08:00

for ma one and only bestu frenddu
mere dhosthe
mia best amica
ma walkin' die-ry
ma heart and soul frenddu...
i mizz you zully...
alot
very much
TrucK loads...
i noe these few days me
very jam-packed with skoollu stuffssu...
cant really mit up...
and talk heart to heart with ya...
i do mizz you these few days...
alots...
sum more no handphone aite...
aiyo...myrru deh...
enna la...
ponneh dificultu deh...
backside cholestrol la unukku
Muz go through a long way to reach u...
Aiyo kadavalae...
heyHeh...
chellamzz...
thanks da for coming into mia life...
adding colours into mere black and white life...
FrIeNds ArE LiKe StArS...EvEn iF U DonT SeE Em, i'LL aLwAyS KnOw TheY ArE ThErE
i know u will be there in the sky owaz
wit a "bling bling"...
i love ya kannu...
miz ya
muaukxxx
btw sure namakku hell taan...
All Good Girls And Boys Go To Heaven Thats Why We Weren't Invited La..

GrAmMmMuMmYfYiNg

2006-09-19T14:37:00.000+08:00

Okay…
I had a bad day…
Maybe bad days…
At home…
Grams and I have
Not been talking…
It all started cos of
Money
Money
Money
Fucked up life man…
I only earn 180 bucks

sometimes 250 okay...
Bloody peanut money…
PEANUTSIFYING MONEY!!!
She expects me to give
50% of it…
And live my big big life
With that small small
Amount of money…
I got a big life man…
C’mon folk!
But there’s one bad
Consequence…
I gotta starve even if
My bloody small
Stomach churns out
“Im hungry…fucker!”
Yap im writing this entry…
Not coz ive got nothing
Better to do…
Because Im hungry…
To distract from those cries
From my stomach…
Im sorry baby…
Next birth if…
I am born with a stomach
And if I am born as a guy
I’ll eat as much as I can
To keep u jam-packed…
Not this birth…baby
I gotta keep THREE eyes…
On ma…
Tummy…
Arse…
And weight…
Fucked up life man…
Yap yap where were we…?
Yaar, fought with my grams…
She has this habit of cooking…
And letting the smell
To float in the air
And affect me…
Why can’t she cook in a
Gas Chamber…
Or why can’t she cook
Without letting the smell
To go floating in the
Damn fucking house…
Most of the time when
I fight with her…
This is the problem I encounter..
Run away not from grams…
But run away from
The smell of food she cooks…
Some time RAN gotta run away
Till I die a Cold hungry death on bed…
I died many times…
Coz of this!!!
I HATE GRAMS FOR
THIS SILENT HUNGER TORTURE…
I think she is cooking…
Mutton Sam bal…
I smell it now…
Oh ma good god…
WHY ME?
NOT AGAIN…

..:: MuA BaBbEhZz ::..

2006-09-15T17:58:00.000+08:00

my Bin tan Group (BG)…
Bin tan girls to be precise…
Haha what a name u might think…
But it’s what it is...
Bin tan group:
Carolin - mother of the group
Finah - baby in the group
Azlin - dear sister
Gayathri - Elder sister
Ran (that’s me) – don’t know exactly what am I
(Don’t wanna brag about me)
Haha…
This organization formed in the 2006s…
In Bin tan…
During the First Overseas Pre-University 3 Retreat
(Sounds like some world war diary thing)
Initially we started off from Room mates…
To Ferry mates…
To close friends…
To what we are now…
A mini family…Haha
You know this is where I belong…
They are just a bunch of dears to me…
Who give the listening ears…
Aid you in your problems…
They do try to be there to
Embrace you in all times…
Everyone who went to the Bin tan trip,
Had memoirs of the trip…
But look at me…
I got the whole Bin tan with me
Haha… (Boohoo losers)
Frankly I din know who were true…
In fact…I just couldn’t find
Who are my real ones…
Till I met them…
(I wasn’t really there with them
Throughout the whole trip – my LOSS!)
I regret…
Even till now. As they do mention that
I wasn’t with them…
Yap guys, Im sorry…
I hope you guys accept me in your group…
I truly feel that’s where I belong…
You guys were with me when there wasn’t anyone…
You guys shared my problems…
You guys embraced me when I cried…
You guys are the ones I want to be with…
In good times and all times…
Cuz this is where I found true care…
Im not gonna make a blunder again by missing you all…
Guys Im sorry…
I am truly…
I was an idiot then…
Now that Im with all…
I am smarter and happier…
With you all I see there is no need to worry…
I hope you guys feel the same about the BG!
Thanks guys…
Infact a word of thanks would not be enough…
I love u guys…
Next to my family, its you’ll…
I love you’ll a lot…
And I treasure every moment I spend
Laughing, crying, cracking, embracing, playing
And
Loving
With you all…
Thanks AzlinBabyGayuCarolin…
(Even a full-stop or comma should not be an obstruction to us…
Together forever)
wawa emo sia...

Estes En Donte Estes

2006-09-15T17:44:00.000+08:00

hey...
Bintan galz..
ive started a new blog
for you all okey...
i'll be post'n some entries
here...
okey?
by ta way,
will be back again
soon suckers...
tataz...